Who Am I??

So I admit, I do miss him buh its definitely not the same way :)

..things change, ppl change, I changed

I dnt feel like me anymore, buh what changed!!

I think Im too nice.. :L
Buh hey Dnt get involved with me if yu dnt wana get hurt. 

Let me descirbe myself to yu.. I can be a real bitch annnd

Im this type of girl:

• I dnt take shit from anyone
• I change my mind a lot coz im undecisive
• When Im determined yu cant stop me
• I have a soft spot called guilt
• For those who are my close friends, Ill protect yu with all my heart
• My instincts are stronger than yu knw
• I choose the people I want around me; I can put up with try hards/attention seekers buh if yur gona be an underlying fuck face.. Yu better watch it
• I respect the environment as without it, there is no me
• I dnt hide success buh I dnt rub it in other ppls face
• I consider the feeling of others more than yu wud think
• I base half my life on helping others coz I hate it wen Im selfish
• I like having friends, bf and family buh I alwaes feel like Im hurting them
• I hate people who are in denial ..its not hard to face the facts
• I remember those who are nice to me and for that bit of kind heart, I will repay yu
• I remember those to tried to hurt me and for that, I will not forgive yu

So now, yu knw me ..er no yu dnt

I am proud to say that I dnt yell at ppl for no reason, Its only for yur own good.

If yu think I shud stay out of yur life. Jst say so. 

 

Judge me. Im actually asking yu to. Then judge yurself. Think abt what yu have done to become yu. Every1 has flaws and every1 has bad thoughts. I wana knw.. Do yu really like who yu are?

28.04.10 Todae was interesting

I was so happy shocked wen I saw G get on that 222 todae

I stood there going 'omg is that her, is that her?!! OMGSH it IS HER!!' LOOL

Yeah we planned to meet up somewhere else buh that FAILED ..hardcore :S

G was kinda negative abt visiting even though she shudnt been

..probably bcoz b4 she visited someone told her negative stuff like 'Why are yu visiting? No ones gona remember yu anywaes, they probably won't even let yu in' =.= I knw. How nice right?

Well she ended up staying for nearly a whole maths lesson, Mr G didnt mind since her loves her (not in that way =.=') LOOL

Yeah I think she had a gud time, we took photos too, Ill have to get that off N later on though

Todae I received a late bdae prezie from M (thankyuuu) It was an adorable plush :D :D :D

.. :S :S :S buuh I feel so bad, I left it behind in the design room ^__^'

For the last 2 nights I didnt sleep til like 1.30-2am buh instead of RE, we had a SENIOR CAMPUS relaxation time in the hall.. it was ROFLMAO funny

We had to lay down (all of us) ..heads and feet we're everywhere

T looked up and saw UNDIES ..LMFAO!! X tried to lay on my plush

And AND I got my SENIOR VEST todae, I definitely dnt regret buying (anymore) It looks freaken hot in real life :D :D :D

Yu were alwaes the one that built the bridge whenever we fought :/ Im sorry too

Burn Our History Happily :)

This is like the 3rd time I blogged todae.. how epic or so to say ..depressing :/

Right now 11.09pm is one of the many moments that I am VERY thankful that I have friends that are honest with me. 

Well jst a coupla minutes ago, D told me he no longer likes me. Not that I didnt see it coming buh I cudnt confirm it ..that is until my friend/s confirmed it to me earlier todae. When they told me, I was glad as I wud be mentally prepared wen he tells me. I am and I feel so neutral atm. 

It makes me think of wen Z dumped my ass and said "its not yu its me" cliche much? When that happened we both already lost feelings for each other buh it still hurt me bcoz he used a cliche on me (annnnd bcoz he went out with H right after :/). When I received the txt from Z I was so devo unlike now bcoz I knw I have friends who wud back me up and be there for me when I need them most. I love yu guys <3

Why dnt yu jst bite me? *sigh

I hope yu never read this.

I guess its a good thing I stuffed up 'My Complex Universe' version 1 ^___^'

Now I dnt have any followers and can blog freely once more.

I noticed that I cant be myself wen Im around yu :/

I try to and I want to buh the thing thats stopping me from doing so is the fear that Im gona hurt yu with every lil thing I say. Everyone says yur and warns me not to hurt yu.. Im alwaes afraid that I will.Yeah I guess they got to me :/

When I asked yu if yu still wanted this 'relationship' to go on, yu said yes and I told yu that if it was what yu wanted, I will try to make it work. It hurt me when I realised yu didnt mean it. Now that Im trying to make it work, yu act like a jackass. Yu dnt give a fuck abt me anymore. Moreover, I find it sad that I have guy friends that care abt me more than yu do. 

That makes me think abt how ridiculous we are!! ;why are we even together.

Im not only writing this bcoz I knw no1 is reading buh also because Im sure yu lost yur feelings for me.

I actually thought I liked yu :/ I dunno




oh great, yu sent me a msg "you dont like me anymore right? :/ im okay withthat! :).."
..I dunno if im angry bcoz yu took it so easy or bcoz yu put that smiley face there *sigh

Like I said, getting whiplash from A is better than being with yu.

Have yu noticed..?

Ppl who do a lot of charity in front of others are worth loathing.

They are freaking attention seekers and aren't kind at heart. 

That type of person simply disgusts me.

It's so fake of the world to have ppl like that.

Old Skwl Moment ^^

I walk forward Heads down

Tears rolling back 

Walking continuously

Never turning back 

Hoping that yu will find me

The bit in bold reminded me of this time in Primary.

I waited for the bell to go.

The bell rang and I sprinted out of skwl.

I went to hide in the tunnel of a park near by.

I cried.

K found me laying there and tried to comfort me.

K left.

A bunch of guys from my skwl passed by.

AK stopped to comfort me.

His way of comforting was to start a bark war. lol

I dnt remember why I was crying.

I only remember the bark fight.. in slow motion LOL it was like I fell for him at that moment.

At the end of that year when I was official with Z, we hung out with AK and I cudnt stop looking at him.

I felt bad coz they were friends buh I was with Z for a stupid reason. Im not gona go on abt that :/

The following bit from this asian song is so high spirited it keeps my hopes up :D

I walk forward Head held high

Wiping off tears, Continuing Forward

Walking continuously

Never turning back..

Feet on my Blog

Never thought I'd have feet on my blog ^^'

Todae was suckish, yet it was one of the happier days Ive had in a while :/ :/ :/

..Todae I got my formal dress, its white and layery jst as I wanted buh the bad thing is that its a boob tube

Boob tube tops and dresses are my most hated clothing since graduation in yr 7..oh the nightmare

Guess wat happened? ..well Im sure yu can guess wat happened and yeah yur right 

Well anywaes.. the dress was 120 which was more than I anticipated to spend, so mum bought me it ^___^   I LOVE YU MUM

Starting to wonder if wat we have is something real

I fone screen appeared to be blurry and i looked into it.
I saw my reflection in a blur and imagined everything as a dream
In a dream, many things are unclear, sometimes for the better and sometimes its jst to piss yu off ^^
I began to wonder is we were something or if we were like a dream
I feel like we cant communicate, sometimes I thought that it was bcoz I didnt try..
Wen I do, it sounds as though yu dnt give a damn
Well, thats why I hardly even bother talking to yu anymore
Its like, yur listening and I think yu do care buh yur words and expression tell me that yu jst dnt give a fuck
The more I  write abt this, the more it feels like Im talking abt more than one person
This makes me think abt bakk then, if we didnt start this episode or if we never met in the first place
..everything wud have been much easier
Buh then again, I think I want our history together
If our history was erased, then a whole phase in my life wud have jst been blank..

2nd of April aka Good Fridae of 2010

I started that day worried that wasnt able to see D that day..

When I was out of the house, waiting for the bus I was freakin excited

I was listening to lady gaga and actually wanted to get up and dance

..it was jst one of those moments :L
I honestly havent seen myself so happy all year.
I dnt knw if I was so happy because I actually get to spend time with him or bcoz my holidae spirit had jst kicked in.

The bus trips there and bakk were long, buh it didnt feel like such a drag coz nearly the whole time I was thinking of him ^____________^

One day together really changed a lot. Wen we walked to his house together, it felt awkward like REALLY awkward. Then wen we were walking from his house to the bus stop, we looked like a real couple. Even I had to ask myself, what the hell happened LOL

Feeling so Neutral that it seems Empty

From all the spare time I had this week, I realised something ..many things, some of which Im afraid to put into words.

I like being together with D, more than any other guy thats around me. He's someone that I keep in my thoughts and life. Our time together makes me happy ..although it may be awkward with other ppl there ^^' 

I heard that D wanted to make things official and I thought I did too.. buh with all the spare time, I sorted my mixed emotions and discovered that he's not someone I _ _ _ _. Its probably jst typical me buh I thought that my nxt bf wud be someone like T Z or A. They were the three guys in my life that I went crazy for; the thing that scares me is that if they appeared in my life again, I wud fall for them once more.
My feelings were so strong for them and I thought that my nxt bf wud be someone I had strong feelings for. 

Although my feelings for D are strong, they arent as strong as I hoped. 

I wud want to be D's gf if he was to ask me. Buh if he doesnt, then I can honestly say that I like the way we are. I knw I like him buh Im afraid that if I saw T again, my heart wont be with D.

I found out todae that T will be attending the OLSH formal with my friend bcoz he's the only possible candidate.
I dnt want to lose my heart to T when Im with D.. 

All I can do now is Hope that D wud try to keep my heart from escaping to T.

It sounds stupid buh when he's around, my heart beats faster. If only he had enough confidence to keep me by his side.