Feeling so Neutral that it seems Empty

From all the spare time I had this week, I realised something ..many things, some of which Im afraid to put into words.

I like being together with D, more than any other guy thats around me. He's someone that I keep in my thoughts and life. Our time together makes me happy ..although it may be awkward with other ppl there ^^' 

I heard that D wanted to make things official and I thought I did too.. buh with all the spare time, I sorted my mixed emotions and discovered that he's not someone I _ _ _ _. Its probably jst typical me buh I thought that my nxt bf wud be someone like T Z or A. They were the three guys in my life that I went crazy for; the thing that scares me is that if they appeared in my life again, I wud fall for them once more.
My feelings were so strong for them and I thought that my nxt bf wud be someone I had strong feelings for. 

Although my feelings for D are strong, they arent as strong as I hoped. 

I wud want to be D's gf if he was to ask me. Buh if he doesnt, then I can honestly say that I like the way we are. I knw I like him buh Im afraid that if I saw T again, my heart wont be with D.

I found out todae that T will be attending the OLSH formal with my friend bcoz he's the only possible candidate.
I dnt want to lose my heart to T when Im with D.. 

All I can do now is Hope that D wud try to keep my heart from escaping to T.

It sounds stupid buh when he's around, my heart beats faster. If only he had enough confidence to keep me by his side.